I knew that returning to the *downtown* part of Shanghai was the goal worth pursuing, and that life would improve after doing so -- but the tail end of 2010 has actually exceeded those expectations. This Christmas was a great example of it. The social life situation has now improved to the point where I'm finding myself double-booked for lunches and parties, and in need of an organizer to sort all the details out. In other words, it's the opposite problem of last year and the year before. Now there's too much going on, with imminent burnout approaching, and a need to cut back on activities. Of course, I'd rather have this problem than the other situation of cabin fever and loneliness. It seems that the last 3 months of re-settling in the city have made up for the last few years of difficult work situations and a lack of social situations, to the point that I'm rapidly catching up and getting back into the swing of what life in Shanghai is all about. Life in the city now is the same as what I enjoyed back in 2001-04. If it keeps up for next year like this, then the life will be even better.
All this being said, it helps to have the contrast of having lived in other Chinese cities for the past few years. I was rather keen and eager to try living in other Chinese cities just to get a sense of comparison, and for the sake of curiosity. Well, I got that, by living in Dalian and Wuhan, and then returned full-circle to Shanghers. So I can make some conclusions.
People often say that the big city of Shanghai is a lonely place. That may be so depending on how you look at it, but my conclusion is that life is *truly* lonely in the smaller cities of China (5 million considered small), and even moreso for the countryside existence.
People need community, we're talking friends, social networks, connections, parties, and just others to hang out with and share life together with. Christmas is a good reminder of having that time and community with people in a foreign land away from our home countries. In fact, I've been very blessed to find that sense of community here in Shanghai, and to enjoy a family away from family, in the sense that I feel more home here than I ever have in my home country. And so the cliche goes, as it is certainly true, of finding a home away from home.
The majority of my social life takes place in SCF which is basically a community church fellowship of expats who live in this city. To give you a sense of the numbers, there are about 300,000 expats who live in Shanghai (and 1/3 of those made a beeline for the airport this Christmas, as the customs authorities reported). Of those, the estimate is perhaps 10,000 expats in Shanghai who attend a regular church fellowship, this is perhaps 3% of the total, scattered in about a half-dozen community churches in various parts of the city. This isn't very much in relative terms, but there are a sizable number of people in absolute terms, which more or less forms the basis of social and spiritual life, and frankly, survival.
In second tier cities in China, even in the so-called larger places like Dalian and Wuhan where I lived, the numbers are all much, much smaller. I'm still scratching my head as to how I survived, especially in Wuhan, where the situation is very grim indeed. Life over there consisted mainly of working, sleeping, and fighting traffic jams. Others would go into bars and clubs for their free time which didn't interest me, and so I was voluntarily out of the loop and suffering from a lack of social life. Actually it got to the point where I traveled outside of Wuhan nearly every 2nd weekend, mainly to places like Shanghai and Nanjing for exactly the above. So that was basically how I survived.
While there are many positive things to say about these 2nd tier cities (related to my other posts), the actual life quality *all around* is far better in the larger cities.
This Christmas was really relaxed, low-key, and lots of *fun* laughing, telling jokes, and sharing stories. It was also quite funny in that at the potluck dinner I attended, my friends interrogated me about this girl who is visiting for the holidays. Long story on that, it'll have to be another post.
This Christmas reminded me of the 2003-04 spent in Shanghai with similar fun parties and relaxing, and also the one two years ago. Sure beats the Christmas last year in Wuhan.
In fact, while telling more stories of my life in the last two years at a lunch gathering yesterday, my former boss (long story) suggested I put these details into a book. It's a great idea, and I've long since had this pipedream idea of writing all my China experiences into a book. This kind of thing has been done before, thanks to a teacher in Dalian who spent 10 years in China and has now finished the book on his experiences. Obviously these blogs would be the best material to work with to put together a book.
Now with 10 years in China rapidly approaching, the question on my mind is what to do next. There are basically 2 more years to go before reaching that, and the goal of a decade in China is certainly achievable at this point. It's really hard to say what'll happen next, but I'm slowly learning to stop beating myself up for living life this way, and for not always knowing what's going to happen next.
At any rate, this was a superb Christmas celebrated, and New Years is just around the corner.
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