Thursday 14 April 2011

A Fiasco Week (Part II)

Attempt #2: I finished classes at 2pm in Shanghai and made a fast track run to Luxu on my motorcycle, illegally of course, because I haven't been able to renew my drivers license. I know this road like the back of my hand now, and have done it 200+ times, most of it from two years back. I could do it in my sleep, but that would be a bad idea because driving in China is not like in the West. You either stay alert due to ever-changing conditions, or else you're a road pancake.

Unfortunately I got busy at work and couldnt' get out of there until 3pm and was running late, trying to make the police station before they closed. Thanks to major improvements on the Hu-Qing-Ping road, the trip only takes about 60 to 75 minutes now.

If you've actually read this far down and have seen my other detailed blog on how the Hu-Qing-Ping works, you know there are two checkpoints. The second one is at the Shanghai-Jiangsu border and is usually a problem, which can be bypassed with a farm road. The first one I've never had a problem with in all the 200+ times going through, except for this particular day!!!!!!

A policeman came out of nowhere and practically tackled me off the bike. He was pulling over anything that moved, including bicycles. Needless to say, I was forced to stop. Smarter people than me saw what was going on and drove on the opposite side of the road to avoid this. For every victim who got pulled over, I counted two more who avoided the check by going on the wrong side of the road. DAMNIT!! I should have anticipated this, but in all 200+ times it never even once occured to me that THIS checkpoint posed a problem.

In situations like these, you immediately play the role of the dumb foreigner. That means NO speaking Chinese whatsoever, and not even showing a hint of understanding it. I put the bike in neutral -- you'll see why later.

Unfortunately he could speak English. I ended up being detained at the police station for an hour while they decided what to do. They took down the details of the bike such as the numbers on the chassiz, the license plate, and asked to see my drivers license of course. I only had a copy which I showed the cop, and threw in a passport for good measure.

I was basically accused of driving a bike which wasn't mine, that my drivers license was for cars, and I didn't have the fapiao (receipt) to prove ownership of the bike. I was told it is dangerous to ride bikes, asked where I was going, and a bunch of other questions. He pointed to a locked up area behind the checkpoint where 5 other bikes were impounded. I figured this bike with over 7000 kilometers was going to die this way. After the death of the bike, I would then have to find another way to the school and the Luxu police station. In this area, it would mean walking another 1.5 hours, since the "chicken bus" which used to ply this road was also forced out of existence by this very same checkpoint.

Meanwhile, I saw the cops collecting plenty of fines from their new computerized system as they pulled over every single other vehicle, including cars, trucks, and vans. Bunch of fat bastards, every last one of them.

Because of no alternatives, nowadays it would be impossible to get to Sino Canada without a bike. A good thing that most of the teachers there don't even bother going to Shanghai as I found out. Oh, the shopping bus still runs once a month.

I got my documents back and, double checking I had everything, started wheeling my bike over to the impound lot, very slowly. At a critical moment I got my keys out (they were in my pocket the whole time), put them in the ignition, made a running start, and throttled out of there before the cops could do anything else.

Adrenaline running very high, I made it to the Luxu police station. But it was too late, they had gone off work. At least I could enjoy a quiet night's sleep at the Zplashes hotel for a super cheap deal, try to calm my nerves down, and then go back to work the next day.

For a short time this week, it felt like I was re-living the whole commute experience of two years ago, this time in the reverse direction.

Attempt #3: With much more time to spare on the next trip to the Luxu police station, this time I went hunting for any backroads that would bypass this first checkpoint. Amazingly, I was able to find one! I only wish I had discovered this backroad two years ago, even though I had made exhausting hunts at the time for exactly this purpose.

This particular backroad even bypasses the checkpoint set up for the EXPO! Combined with the earlier known backroad to bypass the provincial border checkpoint, I can now say for certain there is a guaranteed way to go between Shanghai and Jiangsu provinces without going through a check. It is best to assess the checkpoints first and see what the police are doing to other vehicles, and then use the backroads if necessary. Otherwise it takes too much time for the detour.

That in itself was success enough, because the police registration attempt failed for the third time. We agreed to the fine, but they said it's better that I just go to Shanghai and register there. Back to square one. Whatever. At least I was able to procur a past registration form when I was a teacher in 2009, that was the extent of all this work.

As a friend said, so much work for so little results. But this is China right? I had to at least try.

Next attempt won't be until about November when I actually get a motorcycle license from back home in Canada, get it translated, register again in Shanghai at a new house, wait 3 months, and then apply for the whole Chinese licnese over again, re-take the test, and use a different identity.

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