Today's weather: High = 23 Low = 18
Showers and rapid drop in temperature
After a long and drawn out bureaucratic battle lasting nearly a month, today was a major victory. Now I've successfully replaced all the valuable documents that were lost during last summer. All the ordeals involved in replacing documents from within the People's Republic of China has taught me how important it is NOT to lose them.
Left Shanghai: 11:45am
Arrived Suzhou vehicle office: 1:45pm
Got license: 5:20pm
Returned home: 7:15pm
Yes it took half the bloody day to do this, and into the evening no less, but the best part is the errand has now been done! There is still much more to do, for example, now I must convert the license to a Shanghai one, and eventually, convert it to a motorcycle license. But at least I'm officially finished with Jiangsu province now, and the worst part is over. Phew!
There were horrendous crowds at the Suzhou vehicle office -- they processed over 1200 customers in a single day. I had to go to this office as my original address two years ago was part of Suzhou jurisdiction, not Shanghai. The most difficult part was getting all the paperwork in order, as I have mentioned in exhausting detail within this blog.
However, I must be fair to say that once the papers are in order, the initial clerks at the main information counter will check to make sure, before they assign a number in the queue. The clerks do a thorough job in checking and they won't hesitate to tell you if you miss something, or send you back. If you actually get a number from them, then chances are it's going to be a successful attempt. The only thing then is you just have to WAIT, and I mean, really wait.
I was assigned the number 777 and waited about two hours. This was a perfect number, and while I'm not superstitious, I couldn't have asked for a better number. The number 7 is my favorite one to begin with, and let's just say that 777 was loaded with meaning and significance from a variety of points of view. As it turned out, I also got a favorable outcome!
While waiting, there were propaganda videos put on by the traffic police in order to entertain and educated the public. The videos showed the most horrific and gruesome scenes of death and accidents on Chinese roads. There were scenes of heavy trucks ramming into bicycles and motorcycles, 100 car pileups on foggy expressways, and head-on collisions. The most gruesome scenes were the dead bodies on the road or the ones hanging out of the smashed up cars with blood all over the place. They even showed how people were confined to wheelchairs or had major surgical operations after the bloody accidents. Those were the survivors.
If all that wasn't enough, when you left the vehicle office, they had actual smashed up cars and vans on display at the front gate. Those vehicles had been physically taken from the crash sites on expressways.
These propaganda videos started in the last year as a new tactic in order to scare the public into the horrors of what it's like to drive on Chinese roads. Honestly I have no idea what they are thinking by producing these 'shock and awe' videos. So the traffic police want to scare people into slowing down driving safely. Does this method actually work? These videos only confirm what everyone already knows and is hardly rocket science: Chinese roads are a deathtrap, and they are among the most dangerous in the world --- second only to India.
Some of the public were oohed and awed by the sick videos, but the vast majority were pushing and shoving at the counter for one thing and one thing only: their drivers licenses. Their attitude could be summed up as: yeah, we know it's mayhem on those roads but I just want my license, damnit.
My attitude was much the same as the locals to this end, but my behavior was different. I refrained from pushing and shoving, and waited patiently in the queue.
What happened after getting processed initially was a bit of a cafuffle, but it got sorted out. The clerk told me to get a new picture taken, which I did, then pay a fee at the cashiers, then pick up my license at a different counter. It was a free-for-all at the counter to get the licenses, as Chinese people were pushing and shoving like the dickens. There was no order in this particular part of the system, just the usual rude chaos. My tactic was to just stand patiently for a very long time in the middle of the chaos until one of the clerks noticed the contrast and approached me for service. In other words, I was hoping that they'd see a white foreign face standing patiently by, and looking a bit clueless to boot, while a bunch of impatient Chinese people all around him were pushing, shoving, and grabbing for the licenses.
This part took the better part of an hour just standing within the middle chaos, and it was excruciating. But I was going to hold out for as long as it took for someone to notice the only foreigner in the crowd. There was also no way in hell that I would join in the pushing and shoving in the scrum, as I wanted to make a point of showing what civilized behavior looks by way of contrast
Sure enough this tactic worked. As it turned out, nothing had been done about my license while I was standing around for nearly an hour, and the clerk was very apologetic as she asked for another copy of a photo and to see my passport again. As it turned out, there was a miscommunication (not a language barrier) in terms of the order of things. I was supposed to take a photograph and give it back to the original clerk, but she didn't accept the photo at first and told me to go to the counter where I was waiting for nearly an hour. Sure enough, the original clerk came back, the two got into a discussion, and then more people got involved.
I was then asked a few questions about my license application and then asked to show all the documents I had already shown the original clerk. The Chinese people around me stopped their pushing and shoving and you could hear a pin drop as the entire crowd watced with eager anticipation in terms of how they were dealing with this foreigner. I kid you not, there were over 50 people just watching like this was the most exciting thing ever. The clerk, sensing the watchful eyes of the crowd, deferred to her supervisor. Sure enough, I was asked to sit down and wait while they figured out what was going on.
Not very long after, the Chinese people resumed their pushing and shoving. One of them said, "I've been waiting for over an hour." OK, glad it just wasn't me. Another said, "What the hell, the service is so slow here." The clerk at this particular counter then lost it and screamed out:
IF I DIDN'T CALL YOUR NAME THEN SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP
This was exactly the desired effect of what I had attempted to do earlier by just standing around and waiting in the midst of a jostling crowd. It was basically a way for the clerks to get raging mad at the impatient and rude behavior of the Chinese customers, which they could see as a point in contrast.
Another person in the line said, "How do we know when our names are called?" Another said, "How do we know we're supposed to wait for the names to be called?"
There was actually a sign in Chinese characters that said exactly this. Wait until your name is called, then collect your license with the receipt that showed you paid the 10 RMB.
But the person who was supposed to be calling names wasn't saying anything. Instead, she just buried her face in her hands and it was obvious that she would have prefered to be anywhere on the planet except here. And the same goes for me.
I just took a seat by the planter and figured that eventually someone would figure this shit out. Not more than 5 minutes later I was told to present my passport again. After sitting by the planter again, I got called out again, and walked out with my license in hand!! It was exactly the same license I had gotten two years ago with the same address and everything. Recall this was all obtained via honest means, and I didn't pay a single RMB in bribes or paying someone off.
Despite all the frustrations, I must give credit to this system for the fact that it's possible to actually walk into a vehicle office and walk out with a license on the same day! Sure it can be maddening and frustrating, but they process those numbers awfully quickly --- at the rate of 2 numbers per minute. The thought crossed my mind that you can't exactly do this in my hometown.
That is to say, back in Vancouver Canada, they issue drivers licenses in the mail. What the hell? Someone tell me that ain't backward. Sorry to say it, but I got hosed with the mail last summer back home and I'm afraid the same thing will happen again this summer. Snail mail takes days. Chinese vehicle offices only take hours.
In a nutshell, despite the frustrations of doing things in China, I must be perfectly and completely honest to say that certain things (such as drivers licenses) work better than my home country. That is why, after nearly 10 years, I am still here, and still loving the Chinese people. It's easy to criticize, but we all have our faults, and with license in hand now, all is forgiven.
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