Sunny and windy
Before coming to China 10 years ago the advice I got in training still holds true to this day, even moreso. Namely, one friend told me there would certainly be days when I wondered what I was doing in China and I'd want to run for the exits.
Yesterday was one of those days.
I'm very grateful for the 3 pieces of advice learned in training which I've held onto over the last decade.
1. Lower the expectations. Good general advice and it especially applies for transport inconveniences.
2. Patience and flexibility. Nuff said.
3. Don't make decisions when under the gun. In other words, right now the most tempting thing to do is quit China but I'm going to take a step back and reassess over the upcoming holidays. Right now would be a terrible time to make decisions and April/May is the same story. I haven't always kept this advice and have quit jobs in the past when conditions went downhill or when things got rough.
I'm going to post more detail on the importance of community in Shanghai and maintaining a social network outside of work. This is something I go on a LOT about, even more than transport. However I'll just come right out and say it. Without that community network I would have totally quit and the community is what is compelling me to stay and not quit.
It is why I came to Shanghai in the first place.
I will also say unequivocally that it is destructive behavior to choose to solely rely on coworkers for social life and community when outside of the office. I realize this is very common in China and Asia in general but it is still a destructive practice and violates a sense of healthy boundaries. Any clubs or activities to this end I will stay away from and suffer the consequences. Such as international booze clubs, where coworkers meet in others' apartments and drink, or video game clubs or house parties to a similar effect.
Related to all this is the fact that our teaching staff has now become a de-facto men's club with 80% young single men this year and I shouldn't have to point out the implications as they are obvious. The situation is now becoming a carbon copy of the men's club that existed when I taught in Sino Canada 3 years ago in the boonies.
Now it seems we've simply migrated downtown but the fundamental problems of an imbalanced staff like that (in terms of age, gender, and marital status) are the same regardless of location.
In fact a far more astute colleauge and friend told me at Sino back then that I was focusing on the wrong problem (location) when it was really a people issue in terms of unhealthy boundaries and staffing. She happened to be a woman, thank goodness, and corrected pointed out that the STAFF would still act in an unhealthy way regardless of where the school was. Took me 3 years to figure out what she picked up on in 3 weeks but yeah, I get the point,
this is a people issue.
Now the question remains, what to do about it?
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